Entanglements
by theoofoof
Summary: The outcome post 5x05 as if the events in my previous story, Havensworth: Behind the Scenes' had happened. A sequel if you will.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Entanglements  
**Fandom: **Spooks  
**Characters/Pairings: **Harry/Ruth  
**Rating: **T**  
Warnings:** None

**Summary:** The outcome post 5x05 as if the events in my previous story, Havensworth: Behind the Scenes' had happened. A sequel if you will.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Spooks or any of the characters or dialogue you may recognise. They all belong to Kudos/BBC.

**A/N:** This story is set post 5x05, after the events in my other story Havensworth: Behind the Scenes, although, it's not actually necessary to read that one as all will be explained within this fic (but I'd love it if you wanted to check it out).

Thanks to _**HR always live on**_ for reading/checking/reassuring me about this, and for the idea for the title!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Friday 5th October 2007, 4pm; Port-la-Nouvelle, France_

Louisa Pearce locks the little bookshop she calls her workplace and makes her way down the street, eager to return home. It has been a busy day today, her boss was at a collectors fair so she was on her own with the delivery; the man who brings the books is lovely but he talks non-stop and is terribly disorganised. By the time he'd left at half past eleven Louisa felt like she had worked two full days on the trot with no sleep, so she is eager to get home. After dinner, perhaps she will stroll down onto the beach, and watch the waves for a while. It's a pastime she has grown increasingly fond of since arriving here in Port-la-Nouvelle 14 months ago. She had had to leave so much behind and the waves sooth her soul. Matthew likes them too, so they spend a lot of time there.

As she rounds the corner at the bottom of the hill, she spots her friend Gabrielle and her husband, Jérôme coming towards her, they wave and stop for a quick chat. Gabrielle was the first person she met after she moved here and they hit it off instantly. She has been very supportive and even helped Louisa get her job in the bookshop. She has not seen them for a few days; they own hotels; one here and one in nearby Béziers so they have been out of town, checking on their business. After about ten minutes, Louisa excuses herself; she must get home. Gabrielle nods understandingly and invited both her and Matthew for lunch tomorrow. She readily agrees and with a quick exchange of kisses, she is back on her way home.

As she nears her house, a sense of foreboding overcomes her and her pace quickens. She can't explain it, she just has the awful feeling that she needs to get home, now. She rounds the corner onto Rue Boileau and surveys the area. Her house is still standing proudly at the end of the road. Everything seems to be as it should; no unfamiliar faces or cars, nothing unusual. Until she approaches her front door that is. The house is quiet; eerily so and at this time of day it shouldn't be. Slowly, she opens the door and enters the house. Walking into the living room she sees, Matthew, asleep in his cot. She walks over to him and strokes his head, relief rushing through her that her son, only 6 months old, is safe. She wonders where Brigitte her child-minder is; if Matthew is asleep she is normally bustling about in the kitchen, baking or cooking whilst singing traditional French songs.

Leaving Matthew, she makes her way across the hallway towards the kitchen where she finds Brigitte. She is not cooking or singing. She is not doing anything. She is dead. Louisa lets out a scream and stares at the body in horror for a few seconds. Gunshot wound to the head; she has been executed. Panicked, Louisa runs back through the hall to the living room, one thought rushing around her head; she must get to Matthew. As soon as she is over the threshold, she is grabbed by two men waiting either side of the door. She screams and they gag her to muffle the sound. She struggles but stops as she hears footsteps on her wooden staircase, craning her neck to see who is there.

The men holding her turn her around and she is greeted by a tall man with a familiar air about him. She is sure she has seen him somewhere before but she cannot place him.

"Hello Louisa," he greets. "Or perhaps I should call you by your real name… Ruth?"

She is filled with a renewed sense of panic; this man knows her past; her real name. She frantically tries to get a look at Matthew; is he okay? Is he still sleeping? But she cannot see. In her distraction she doesn't notice the man coming towards her with a needle. The first she knows about it is when she feels the prick in her upper arm. As the man depresses the plunger, she feels her eyes begin to grow heavy. She cannot fight it and as the darkness overtakes her she shouts for her son… "Matthew!" She takes a breath and the blackness deepens. The name is a desperate whisper this time, "Harry…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Friday 5th October 2007, 8pm; London, England._

Sir Harry Pearce is a lying in bed when the call comes; with his lover doing exquisite things to him with her tongue.

He'd met Anna shortly after he'd returned from Lebanon with Catherine, who had been caught up in an explosion there. Whilst engrossed in his search for Catherine and subsequent bedside vigil, he hadn't had the time to think about Ruth's departure, save for a few occurrences of 'Ruth would know what to do'. But upon his return, he felt the weight of their parting pressing on him. He had struggled to cope with the thought of never seeing her again; he hadn't been sleeping or eating properly, he'd had a shorter fuse than normal and had developed a habit of snapping at his team, he had made several decisions based on emotion rather than cold hard facts, and he was drinking more and more; in addition to drinking in his office at home, several nights a week he would go and drown his sorrows in some non-descript London bar or pub. He liked the anonymity of being able to sit and drink, no one judging him. On the Grid there was the rest of the team and at home there was Scarlett and Ruth's cats, Fidget and Phoenix. It was probably stupid, but he thought he sensed a look of disapproval in their eyes every time he reached for the whisky bottle.

Women approached him but he always brushed them off. Until Anna. He'd had a particularly bad day; Ruth's replacement, Sally had been murdered by one of their own. As a result he was more depressed than usual, consumed by guilt; he hadn't welcomed Sally onto the team or paid any heed to the analysis she had given, for the sole reason that she wasn't Ruth. Then she had died and he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. That night when Anna approached him he hadn't brushed her off as he'd done with numerous women before; he'd allowed her to sit and to talk to him. He had needed some kind of human contact, some comfort, so he had allowed her to take him home.

In the morning, he barely remembered her name and things were incredibly awkward, so much so that whilst she was in the shower he left without saying goodbye or leaving a number. He hadn't really realised how badly he'd behaved until he overheard Jo talking to one of the junior analysts a few weeks later, who had had a similar thing happen to her. Her beau had left the morning after without so much as an acknowledgement of what they had shared and she was devastated. Harry had doubted Anna would be quite so cut up about the whole thing but, he found himself wondering what Ruth would think of his behaviour and, deciding she would be appalled, he vowed to look Anna up and apologise.

It was a few weeks after Christmas before he found the time or the inclination to approach her. To say she was surprised to see him on her doorstep was an understatement, but she graciously accepted his apology and his explanation; that he was grieving for someone and then, surprisingly, she asked him out for a drink. He went more out of a feeling of obligation that anything else but as the evening wore on, he found her to be pleasant enough and had to admit she was rather easy on the eye. They exchanged numbers (a legend for him of course) and he surprised himself by being the one to initiate further contact.

That had been almost nine months ago and here they are. Together. In a relationship. Although, only seeing each other every few weeks means that it doesn't feel like they've been together that long at all. Harry doesn't really think about the progression of their relationship from this point on. To him Anna is a source of companionship and sex. He doesn't really know how she feels about it; only that the L-word has not been said. What he does know is, if either of them scratches the surface too much and starts to ask questions then their relationship will probably not survive. Why? Because he knows he doesn't love her. Not like he loves Ruth.

He still loves Ruth even though she has been gone for over a year. He has often thought about searching for her but has managed to talk himself out of it. She left because she was in danger; if he found her, he would only endanger her again. He loves her enough to keep her safe. Even if that means he never sees her again.

So, as Anna swirls her tongue around his length, it's Ruth's face that fills his mind. He knows he will have to bite down hard on his lip to stop from screaming the wrong name in the throes of passion, just like all the times before. But tonight, he is saved from this by the shrill ringing of his mobile phone. He recognises that tone. It's a red flash. Immediately he is work mode, and snatches the phone off the bedside cabinet.

"H-hello?" he gasps, trying desperately to stop Anna. She looks at him with a devilish smile and attempts to resume her activities. He doesn't allow it though; sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

It's Malcolm on the phone and he seems to sense that he has interrupted something. "I'm sorry to disturb you Harry, but we've had a communication you're going to want to see."

"Is it about Kahrami?" he asks, thinking about the latest threat, whilst trying to wriggle away from Anna's hands, that are now wandering along his lower back and hips.

"No. I'm afraid there's still nothing on that score. This is rather more delicate…"

"Malcolm, I've not got time for riddles; just tell me."

Malcolm sighs. "It's about Ruth; she's been taken."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Apologies for the delay - first week back at school so things have been a bit manic. Thanks again to _HR always live on_ for her support with this!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_Friday 5th October 2007, 9pm; The Grid_

"Talk to me," Harry orders as he steps through the pods onto the Grid.

"This was posted on the internet," Malcolm says, guiding Harry to a computer screen, "but we pulled it straight away." A couple of clicks of the mouse and the video begins to play. It shows a woman asleep on a thin mattress in a sparse room. The camera pans to her face and Harry sucks in a breath. It's definitely Ruth.

A voice-over kicks in. "This is Ruth Evershed; an ex-British spy. She is supposed to be dead, but as you can see, she is very much alive. How much longer she remains that way is down to one man; Harry Pearce, head of the Counter-Terrorism Unit at MI-5. He has stolen something from me and I want it back. If he does not co-operate then I will have no choice but to kill her." The shot changes then to another room where a baby sleeping peacefully. "And then what will this little one do? A son without a mother. It's not a great way to grow up so perhaps I will kill him too. Be at the Royal Docks; Millennium Mills at midnight, Harry. Alone. Bring the information I require, or Ruth and the boy will die."

"If it does get back into the public domain, the official line is that we're studying it for authenticity," Malcolm says, but Harry isn't listening. He is staring at the sleeping face of the baby, who is apparently Ruth's son.

Malcolm gives Harry a few moments to absorb all the information and to mask his personal feelings before pressing him for orders. "Harry…"

"I want you to pull that tape apart Malcolm. Find out where they're holding her and if the boy is in the same place."

"Do we have any idea what it is he wants back?" Adam interjects.

"Yes, I think I do." Adam and Malcolm wait, but Harry does not expand upon what that might be.

"Harry?"

"I'm hoping it won't come to that. If it does, I'll tell you." Adam sighs, but he senses the finality in Harry's statement and knows it's best not to push it at this moment.

"I've got Zaf tracing all activity on the alias we gave Ruth when she left," Malcolm informs them. "Hopefully that will throw up something useful."

"And the baby?" asks Adam, looking to Harry. But he just shrugs his shoulders and retreats to his office. He can't answer his section chief because he is in the same position as everyone else… he doesn't know.

* * *

_Friday 5th October 2007, 9pm; Unknown Location_

Ruth wakes up on the cold hard floor of a small room. Her head is foggy from whatever they gave her to knock her out and her hands and feet are bound. She looks around but there is no sign of life; no sign of Matthew. She sits up and looks out of the window. It seems she's in a warehouse of some kind; on what looks to be a deserted industrial estate. She wonders how long it has been since she was captured; it is dark outside but that doesn't mean anything; she could be in a completely different time-zone from the one she left.

There is movement outside the door and Ruth lies back down; not sure if she wants her captors to know she is awake yet.

"Come now Ruth, we have cameras in here; we know you are awake," it's the same voice from her house but she doesn't open her eyes. "And besides, I have someone here who is rather desperate to see you."

His statement is followed by a string of baby babble that Ruth recognises very well. Her eyes shoot open and see that he has Matthew in his arms. He is holding out his arms toward her and wrestling to be let go. "Please give him to me," she begs.

"Untie her hands," he instructs one of his men, who does so with a quick flick of his knife.

Ruth wonders briefly if it was the same knife that had been held to her throat earlier, before Matthew is in her arms. She cradles him tightly, and kisses the top of his head, breathing in his unique smell. "Hello sweetheart," she coos, "Mummy's missed you." Matthew, unaware of the trauma, just smiles sweetly at her and continues to babble away. Ruth begins to check him for any sign of injury or harm.

Her captor recognises her actions. "The child is fine," he informs her.

"Where are we? How long have we been here?"

"I have brought you home. To England."

"Please tell me what time it is – I need to know." She indicates to Matthew, she needs to know when he was last fed.

Thankfully, the man seems to understand. "You have been with us for about 6 hours." Ruth looks shocked that she has been kept from her son for so long. "Don't worry, he has been well looked after. And he will continue to be, providing you co-operate with me of course."

"What do you want?"

"I want the very large quantity of weapons-grade uranium that Harry took from Baghdad and was supposed to be safeguarding. Where is it?"

Baghdad. This is about Baghdad. That's where she knows him from. He's the freelance Indian agent... Mani. Amish Mani. "I…"

"Tell me or I'll take him." He reaches for Matthew but Ruth shields her son.

The thought of him hurting Matthew is too much. "Norfolk!" she cries, knowing Harry would be appalled at her lack of resistance. "It's in Norfolk. An abandoned nuclear shelter from the Cold War years."

Mani shakes his head. "Oh Harry," he mutters to himself, "What have you done?"

"What do you mean?" Ruth cries, confused. "I've told you what you wanted to know."

"And that is the truth?"

"Yes!"

"We have already looked in that place that you said; it was empty."

"But it was there. Harry said…"

"It would appear that Harry has not played by the rules. He's obviously moved it."

"But I don't know about that, so what's the point in keeping us here?"

Mani smiles at her feeble attempt for release. "I'm not a psychopath, Ruth. The sound of screaming actually sets my teeth on edge, especially that of women and children, but these things must be done."

"I don't…"

"You are my leverage. Harry knows where the uranium is and sometimes it is the pain of others that can make people break. You and he had an obvious connection, back in Baghdad. If it wasn't for this little chap, I'd say it was all quite chaste in a frightfully outdated 'Brief Encounter' kind of way." He ruffles Matthew's hair and Ruth clutches the boy tighter. "Looks remarkably like his father doesn't he?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for all the comments on this; really make it worth writing.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Friday 5th October 2007, 10.50pm; The Grid_

"Still nothing," Jo informs the briefing.

"It would help if we knew what they wanted, Harry," adds Adam.

"The man on the tape is Amish Mani," Harry finally admits. "He's a freelancer from the Indian Intelligence Bureau."

"He said you'd stolen something from him?"

"About two years ago, I came across a clandestine operation in Baghdad, to smuggle weapons-grade uranium into the country and then 'discover' it. Vindicate the war. I went straight to the PM and the operation was stopped."

"Who else was involved?"

"Libby McCall from the CIA, some cowboy from 6, called himself Ronnie, but that wasn't his real name…" Harry thinks for a moment. "Hillier, that's him; Steven Hillier and then Mani."

"So what do they want from you? What did you steal?"

"The uranium."

"The uranium actually got there?" asks Ros. "It was in Iraq already?"

"The whole thing was a very close call. Of course some of our cousins were happy to green-light the op, but I won the argument and we got it out again. Brought it here."

"But why take Ruth?" asks Zaf.

"Ruth was with me in Baghdad. I told her where I'd hidden the uranium as back-up. But I've since moved it, I assume that she's given him that location and he's checked there and found the place empty. So now he needs me. "

"Ruth wouldn't crack surely?" Jo speaks up.

"He's threatened her son and she probably thinks no-one with any power knows she's missing." Adam reminds her. "What would you do in that situation?"

Harry looks at his watch; it's nearing eleven. "I have to get ready to meet Mani."

"Are you going to tell him where the uranium is?" queries Jo

"You can't do that," Ros states. "It's tantamount to treason Harry."

"I am going to talk to him; see if I can convince him to stop this insanity." He feels their eyes on him; they still have questions about the child… his parentage. So does Harry. After staring at the image of the child for the past hour, he is pretty confident that the boy is his. He's about the right age and he looks a lot like Graham did when he was a baby.

It's shaken his world, to discover that there's a good chance he's a father once more, but he's pushed all his questions to the back of his mind for the moment, because once again serving his country has put him in an impossible position. He has the power to save both Ruth and his son but at a price; that price being the lives of thousands of British citizens.

* * *

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 12.30am; Unknown location_

As Ruth lies on the thin mattress, Matthew on some cushions next to her, finally asleep, she runs through Mani's words, over and over again. She and Matthew are to be used as leverage to get Harry to tell where the uranium is. It was bad enough that she could be used against Harry; that was what had caused her to leave in the first place. But now a sweet, innocent little boy can be used as a pawn in the game of any extremist who wants to get one over on Harry. His son; the one he doesn't even know exists. She wonders what he'll think when he discovers he's a father again; that their brief relationship resulted in a child. Desperate to keep her mind from coming up with the worst outcome, she thinks back to the beginnings of their relationship…

_***Flashback***_

_She and Harry were always close, she was his confidant on the Grid; he told her things that he didn't tell others. So, when he asked her out for dinner she eagerly accepted. The evening was wonderful and when he dropped her home he kissed her lightly. She spent that night dreaming of their next date, wondering when and where it would be, but reality hit the next day when she realised they were being gossiped about on at work. It was more than she could handle so she told him she couldn't see him anymore, breaking both their hearts in the process. _

_Their relationship was strained for a few weeks after that; but somehow they still managed to work together. It was at the Havensworth summit that things changed; Ruth finally realised what she wanted and was determined to go after it, regardless of what anyone else thought. They slept together for the first time on their last night at the conference and began to carve out a relationship away from the Grid over the following two weeks. But it wasn't to last; their new found happiness was swept away by the death of Mik Maudsley; the former head of security for Cotterdam prison. Needing to cover up his treacherous deeds and wanting to get at Harry in the process, Oliver Mace doctored CCTV footage of Ruth at a tube station round the corner from Harry's house, making it look like she pushed Maudsley in front of a train. Murdered him. _

_She went into exile to save Harry and in doing so, secured the future of the service as a power of good. It was just as that old Latin phrase Salus populi suprema lex; (Let the good of the people be the supreme law). It broke her heart to leave (and Harry's too, she suspects if the look on his face was anything to go by) but she knew that she must. She could see no other way. Adam and Zaf both begged her to reconsider but she analysed all the information and she knew what must happen and she convinced them to go along with it, even though they felt in their bones that they were about to make a terrible mistake. So, after a tearful goodbye on the dockside, Ruth stepped onto a boat and sailed away, watching as Harry got smaller and smaller as she sailed further away from him. _

_The problem with analysis, as Ruth knows, but was harshly reminded of two months after beginning her exile, is that if you don't have all the relevant information then the process is fundamentally flawed. She was floored to discover that she was pregnant with Harry's child. She hadn't been expecting it at all; she was taking the Pill so had assumed they didn't need to use another form of contraception. _

_Sitting in the clinic, she dropped her head into her hands and sobbed as the doctor delivered the news. She handed Ruth a tissue and seemed confused that this discovery had upset her patient. Usually this type of news was received with joy and gladness. _

"_I'm sorry," Ruth said, sensing the doctor's confusion. "But the father… he…" she trailed off, wondering how to explain the situation. "He died," she finally uttered, hating herself for saying these things about Harry. The worst thing was she didn't know if it was still a lie or if it had now become the truth; there was no way of her knowing if any harm had come to him in the time she had been away. He had looked so devastated, standing on that dockside, that she was worried about his state of mind and had prayed for most of her journey from England that he wouldn't do anything reckless. _

_She had decided before she left England that her legend would be that of a widow; it would explain her sudden appearance in a new country; needing to get away from the familiar, the memories, and it would also give her an excuse to keep herself to herself; mourning. Besides, she was in a sort of mourning; grieving for Harry and their lost relationship._

"_Madame, I didn't know. My apologies for being so… how do you say? Unsensitive?"_

_Ruth managed a small smile at the mis-translation but it wasn't long before the tears started again. _

"_It was recent, your husband's death?" It seemed an obvious thing to say; she couldn't have gotten pregnant by a ghost but the doctor sensed she needed to talk about it. _

_Ruth nodded. "Nearly two months; I suspect I conceived shortly before he died. Maybe only a few days before. He was taken suddenly. An accident." _

"_The worst kind of loss, I think. Such a shock. With illness at least you have a bit of time to prepare…"_

"_Yes. I felt I needed to get away; too many memories and people who meant well, but were just too much for me to cope with, so I came here."_

_As she spun the lies to the doctor she became more confident in her legend; this was the first time it had come under any such scrutiny and it seemed to be holding up; the addition of a child would just strengthen the story, she supposed. But what was she to do? Bringing a child into a world of lies and exile… could she do that? What would happen when the child was old enough to ask questions of their father, could she really tell them he was dead when there was a significant possibility that he was alive and well, completely oblivious to the existence of his child? _

_In that moment, in amongst all the questions and worries, Ruth was certain about one thing… there was no way she could contact Harry and tell him. Not without risking both their lives or freedom; and it was that thought that broke her heart more than any other. Harry was having a second chance at fatherhood taken away. _

"_You will need time to think, yes? To take it all in?" the doctor said with a sympathetic smile. _

"_Yes, I will. Thank you."_

_The doctor rummaged around in her desk and handed Ruth a small handful of information leaflets. "Here; these may help. Once you have made a decision, make another appointment to see me and we can go from there. In the meantime I would like you to take these vitamins." Ruth took the proffered bottle. "They will make you feel better."_

_Ruth thanked the doctor once more and left the surgery. She had a lot to think about._

_***End Flashback***_

The sound of the door opening brings her back to the present. Two of Mani's henchmen are dragging something along the floor. Ruth gasps as she realises it is a person and holds her breath as she sees it's a man. The men dump him unceremoniously in the corner of the room, where he emits a small groan, and then leave once more. Ruth approaches slowly; the figure is curled in a foetal position, clearly battered and bruised. She kneels beside him and gently turns his head towards her. Her worst fears are confirmed. It's Harry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 12.10am; The Grid_

"I've lost him," calls Malcolm. "They've stripped him of the tracker we gave him, and his phone."

"Shit!" declares Ros. "Adam!"

Adam rushes over and Ros and Malcolm fill him in.

"Right; chances are they'll take him to the same place they're holding Ruth and her son. Ros, Jo, find Stephen Hillier; I have a feeling he's in this up to his neck. Malcolm, check the CCTV from where Harry was meeting Mani; see if you can get a number plate and track the car through the network."

"And you?" asks Ros.

"I need to make a call, and then Zaf and I are going to go and talk to Sarah Caulfield, McCall's replacement at Grosvenor Square. Shake the tree, see what flies out."

With that, Adam disappears off the Grid to carry out Harry's instructions; the ones he had given him before he left to meet Mani, in case this situation arose.

* * *

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 12.35am; Unknown location_

Harry groans as he feels a hand move his head gently. He opens his good eye; the one that is not swollen shut from bruising. "R…Ruth?" he whispers, his throat dry.

"Oh God Harry! What have they done to you?"

He forces himself to sit up, against the wall; the slight movement clearly requiring a large effort and resulting in a lot of pain. By the time he's made himself comfortable he's struggling to get his breath.

"M'okay," he mumbles. Ruth disagrees; she counts fourteen separate wounds just on his head and neck. There is blood seeping through the side of his shirt and bruises already forming on his arms.

"Harry… it's Mani. He wants the uranium."

He nods slowly. "I know."

There's so much to say but Ruth can tell it's a struggle for Harry to talk; so she decides not to initiate any further conversation at this point. Instead, she goes to Matthew's changing bag, which Mani has thankfully let her keep with her, and gets some cotton wool and tissues. She uses these, along with the water she's been given, to clean him up. It hurts like hell, but Harry tries to flinch and wince as little as possible as Ruth cleans his wounds.

Once she had finished his face she moves to unbutton his shirt. "There's no need," he tells her.

"There's every need," she replies. "You're bleeding." He allows her to open his shirt and examine him. She whistles as she sees the wound. "It's worse than I thought." She finds an anti-bacterial wipe in her bag and swabs the broken skin causing Harry to writhe in brief spurts of pain. "Sorry." A couple of more strokes and Ruth is satisfied. "There, it's all done. I've nothing to dress it with, but at least it's clean," she tells him, before helping him back on with his shirt.

She reaches into the bag and, conscious of the cameras, covertly passes Harry something. Two painkillers that she'd found hidden in her bag. He sees them and smiles. "Still a born spook then?" he whispers. She smiles, embarrassed at his words, before shielding him from the cameras allowing him to take the tablets. He utters a "thank you" once done and she sits down next to him.

They sit in silence for a few moments, neither knowing how to begin the conversation that needs to take place, before a whimper from the other side of the room gets both their attentions. Matthew is stirring. Ruth moves to attend to him without chancing a look at Harry.

She coos and strokes his hair as she tries to settle him back down but it's no use; he is in an unfamiliar place and probably knows something is wrong. She picks him up and holds him to her chest, rocking him gently.

"Can I see him?" Harry asks. Ruth can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows Matthew is his. She freezes; this is never a moment she expected to experience, and her confidence wavers; what if he's angry with her, what if he doesn't want him? "Please?" Harry adds, with desperation in his voice that Ruth can't ignore.

So, Matthew still fussing, Ruth moves back across the room and re-takes her place sitting next to him on the floor. She manoeuvres the baby in her arms so Harry can get a good view of him. Harry looks down at him intently and reaches out to stroke a finger gently over his blonde curls. The feel of an unfamiliar touch quietens Matthew and he opens his eyes and looks directly at Harry.

"Harry, this is Matthew… your son," she whispers.

Harry marvels as her words confirm his suspicions. He has another child; another son. He wants to tell Ruth how thankful he is for giving him a second chance to be a father and to find out everything about Matthew but he doesn't get the chance.

"Well, isn't this cosy," sneers Mani as he enters the room once more. Harry feels Ruth tense and grip Matthew a little tighter. "I hate to break up such a lovely family reunion but there are matters we must discuss Harry."

The two henchmen are back and drag Harry into the middle of the room, pushing him face down into the floor.

"Where is the uranium?" Mani asks calmly. Harry remains silent. "Now is not the time for silence Harry," Mani warns. But still Harry says nothing.

One of Mani's cronies holds Harry's arm away from his body whilst another produces a hammer. Ruth realises almost instantaneously what's going to happen. "No!" she cries. "Please don't!"

Her cries go unheeded and all she can do is hold Matthew tightly, covering his ears as the thug brings the hammer thundering down onto Harry's arms. The sound of the bone breaking mixes with Harry's screams and Ruth winces. Her efforts to protect Matthew don't have the desired effect and he starts at the noise, before emitting a wail of his own.

Harry is gasping for air but Mani ignores this and steps on his arm to heighten his pain. Harry passes out from the pain. As he leaves the room, Mani turns to Ruth. "I will be back soon to ask him again. When he wakes I'd advise him to reconsider his response… or it might not be him I choose to hurt next time." He punctuates his point by stroking Matthew's arm. "Understand?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** This chapter contains scenes that some people may find distressing – you have been warned!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 2.25am; The Grid_

"How did it go?" Adam asks Ros as he and Zaf return from their meeting.

"Hillier's dead. He's just been splattered all over the roof of his car. My guess is someone was watching him and got scared he'd talk. How did you get on?"

"Well, she wasn't best pleased at being woken in the middle of the night," Adam begins as he and Zaf fill her in.

"You promised the CIA both Mani and the uranium?" Ros clarifies once they're finished.

"Huge propaganda coup. Sarah Caulfield finds an ex-contractor from Iraq with stolen uranium. How good does she look?"

"Harry will never agree."

"If she doesn't help us, he won't have a say in the matter," Adam points out.

"But if we save him, he'll countermand the deal. You know that," adds Jo.

Adam shrugs. "It's the one flaw in my plan, but luckily we only cross that bridge once he and Ruth are safe."

"Double-crossing the new CIA liaison officer on practically her first day, I like your style Adam," she admits, a touch of flirtatiousness in her voice.

"Hey, I believe that was my idea," interjects Zaf.

The computer in front of Ros starts beeping. A map of London appears with a red dot in the middle. "Well, she obviously likes one of you. She's got a tracker on McCall."

Adam grins. "Right. Let's keep an eye on him. Jo, can you co-ordinate the teams following him?"

Jo nods and gets to work, praying they find Harry and Ruth in time.

* * *

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 4.10am; Unknown location_

Harry, Ruth and Matthew are dozing when Mani returns. Harry had regained consciousness for a few moments shortly after Mani had left. He had been awake long enough for Ruth to tend to his arm, before he fell asleep, snoring lightly.

Mani pulls Harry into the centre of the room once more, jarring all three of them awake. "I trust you've had enough time to reconsider your position. Where is the uranium?"

Harry grits his teeth. Silence. Mani kicks him in the stomach, Harry groans but still doesn't provide the information he wants.

"Alright, if that is how you want to play it, let's see how strongly your will holds out when it's not you who is in pain. A child in pain is a very distressing sight." He walks menacingly towards Ruth. She cowers away from him, but her grabs at Matthew and wrestles him away from her.

"No!" Ruth cries.

He lays Matthew on the ground and points a gun at him. "I'll count to ten, Harry. One, two…"

"You'd kill a child?" Harry asks. Internally he's panicking, but he fights to keep a mask of indifference and detachment on his face.

"Of course I would. Children are the first casualties of every conflict. Three. Four."

"Harry!" Ruth can't believe that Harry can be so calm whilst watching someone point a gun at his son.

Harry sighs. He feels incredibly torn. "I can't."

"Please!" begs Ruth.

"Five."

"It will be used to build a dirty bomb. It could kill thousands of children," Harry tells her, already knowing what her response will be.

"But I can only see ours in front of me."

He shakes his head. "I can't tell him!"

"Listen to her Harry; listen to the voice of compassion."

"You know nothing about compassion," Harry spits at him.

"Six."

"Listen to me, Mani. I won't tell you. And if I won't tell you now, killing the child is totally pointless. What would you have then? A dead child and no uranium."

"You're calling my bluff?"

"No. I'm making a cold statement of fact. If you kill the child, it will be for gratification not for purpose, because I won't tell you if you do or if you don't."

"Seven. Eight." He moves the gun closer to Matthew's head.

"You heartless bastard!" Ruth spits at Harry, who flinches at her words.

"Nine!

"Please don't kill him!" Ruth sobs. "Harry! Please."

"Ten!"

"Harry!"

"Alright!"

Before Harry can continue, the door bursts open and the room is filled with gun fire; bullets and glass flying everywhere. Using his last ounce of energy, and caring nothing for his injured back or arm, Harry throws himself over Matthew, shielding him. When the chaos dies down, Ruth sees Adam, Zaf and Ros, guns poised. Mani and his men are dead. It's over.

Adam approaches Harry, who is still shielding a wailing Matthew. "Come on mate; I think the little one wants his Mum." He and Zaf help Harry up, and Ruth rushes over to her son, scooping him up.

"Sshh sweetheart. It's okay Matthew. It's all over now. Mummy's here." Hearing his mother's voice, he calms quickly, burrowing his face into her neck.

"I've got paramedics on the way; they'll check you all out," Zaf tells Ruth, a comforting had on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she replies.

"Better to be safe than sorry, eh? Besides, he needs treatment," Zaf cocks his head towards Harry who is currently being updated on the situation by Adam. Ruth can't look at him, the thought that he would have let her child… their child be killed is all that she can focus on.

Sensing that something has obviously happened and that now isn't the time to talk about Harry, Zaf changes the subject. "Y'know, I seem to remember being sat on a dockside, one cold August morning making you a promise," he says.

Ruth remembers that morning too; the morning she left London; Zaf promising to smile at her. "I hardly think I fit the criteria of 'pretty woman' at the moment."

He looks her up and down. "I'm not going to lie; you've looked better," before flashing her a mega-watt smile, 'but you're still you. And it's damn good to see you Ruth."

She reciprocates with a small smile, and is about to reply when several paramedics file into the room, directed by Ros. They try to treat Harry, but he shakes his head. "Matthew," he wheezes. "Treat him first."

"The baby," Adam explains for them.

"My colleagues are looking at him right now," one of the paramedic says.

"Is he okay?" he asks, fighting against the darkness that is threatening to overcome him.

The paramedic glances over his shoulder. "He looks like he's going to be fine. Now, let's have a look at you."

Reassured that his son is safe and in good hands he allows himself to be poked and prodded. He doesn't register the pain from his cuts, bruises and broken bones, too busy thinking about the look on Ruth's face as he allowed her to think he would have let their son die; the look of utter hatred directed at him. He doubts she'll ever forgive him. And that's his last thought before blackness engulfs him completely.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Saturday 6th October 2007, 11.25am Charing Cross Hospital, London_

"Ruth's angry with you," Malcolm tells Harry. Jo had been to see her earlier and reported back to the debrief about Harry's actions and Ruth's reaction to them.

Harry can always rely on Malcolm to come straight to the point even when he's recovering from emergency surgery to set his broken arm and stop internal bleeding. "Hardly surprising."

"You did the right thing under intolerable pressure," Malcolm adds.

"Perhaps. But the three of us are only alive today because of the work you and the team did back on the Grid. I'm sure when the shock wears off, Ruth will remember that too."

"We don't need gratitude, Harry. You're all safe; that's enough."

"Malcolm… Ruth and Matthew, are they both okay?"

"Fine. Jo's been to see them; they'll be letting them go soon."

"They don't have anywhere to go," Harry muses.

"I've found somewhere for them… off the system."

"Thank you Malcolm, you're a good friend."

"It's the least I could do."

"I want someone with them; just in case. An officer. A good one."

"May I suggest Jo? She and Ruth were close… before and I think Ruth will feel more comfortable with her than Adam, Zaf or Ros."

Harry nods. "Jo it is."

"Right, well, I'd better be off," Malcolm says. "Mother will be wondering where I am."

Malcolm is at the door when Harry calls him back, "If the worst had happened; did you have a poem planned for my memorial service? I bet you did."

Malcolm smiles wryly. "But I'll never, ever tell you what it was." Harry chuckles, despite the pain. "I'll come back and see you tomorrow Harry."

"Bye."

* * *

As Malcolm steps into the corridor he sees Ruth sitting on a plastic chair, Matthew bouncing up and down on her lap. He approaches her and she looks up and smiles.

"Hello Malcolm."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," he says as he takes a seat next to her.

"No."

"How have you been?"

"It was hard at first, but I settled down; having this little one helped. I was… content." She can't say she was happy, because a part of her always yearned for home, for Harry. "Life was simple, elegant, calm. Right now I feel like I'm in the middle of one of those scary dreams where you're taken back to a time and place you'd left completely behind."

He covers one of her hands with his. "I am so glad to see you again, despite the circumstances that brought you back."

She nods towards the door of Harry's room. "How is he?"

"He'll live. He's sore; tired; doubting every decision he's made since you were taken." Ruth tenses at the thought of Harry's decisions; they nearly cost Matthew his life. "I know you're angry with him, but go in and see him."

"I don't know if I'm ready…"

"You need to talk to him."

"Why? So he can make excuses for his behaviour?"

"No, because it will help. Besides, he needs to see his son."

"He told you?"

Malcolm shakes his head. "No. He didn't need to."

He watches as Ruth struggles with the decision and recognises the moment she gives in.

"Okay, but I'm not making any promises about how this will turn out." She stands, expertly balancing Matthew on her hip.

"Call me when you're ready to leave; I'll have a car on standby to take you straight to a safe house."

"Thank you Malcolm."

* * *

Harry is watching the news, trying to work out which stories are real and which are covers but quickly turns it off when Ruth enters. He is surprised to see her, but very glad.

"Hi."

She stands in the doorway. "Hi." As soon as she sees him, her immediate anger dissipates as a rush of concern and love overcomes her.

"Come in. Please."

She does as he asks and sits down in the chair Malcolm had vacated moments earlier. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've done ten-rounds with Mike Tyson. I've had worse though."

"Jo said you had to have surgery?"

"Yes, to set my arm and top stop some internal bleeding," he explains. "Apparently, I lacerated one of my kidneys." Ruth's eyes widen. "It's not as bad as it sounds; it's still functioning properly." He turns his attentions to her and Matthew. "Have the doctors checked you both over?"

She nods. "We're fine. They said that whatever Mani used to knock me out has worn off; no traces in my bloodstream. And miraculously, Matthew hasn't got a scratch on him."

"Good. I was worried I might have hurt or crushed him when I jumped on him."

In all the trauma and chaos of the last twelve hours Ruth had forgotten that Harry actually shielded Matthew when the guns started going off.

"Y… you protected him."

"I couldn't risk him getting hurt," Harry admits.

"But two minutes earlier you were more than willing for Mani to kill him," she reminds.

"I had to resist Mani's attempts to get the information for as long as possible; to allow Adam to get a Special Forces team to the site of the uranium."

Ruth is confused. "What?

"When I left the Grid to meet Mani, I gave Adam the new location; told him if anything went wrong he was to get a special forces team to move the uranium and lie in wait in-case Mani got the information he needed." Using his good arm, he reaches for her hand. "I knew when Mani took me that Adam would implement that part of the plan. I was never going to let Matthew die, Ruth. I just had to stretch it out as long as I could."

Ruth's eyes are shining with tears. "Mani had already got to ten. How could you know that he wouldn't pull the trigger dead on ten?"

"I let it go on too long and that was my mistake; I'm sorry. I would never have forgiven myself if I'd misjudged it.

"I was so scared, Harry. I thought you were going to let him die; that you didn't care about him at all."

He squeezes her hand. "How could I not care about him Ruth? He's our son."

Ruth nods. "I suppose I understand the operational reasons for your decisions Harry, but I don't know that I'll ever forgive you for the pain I went through last night."

"I know," Harry replies. He's already resigned himself to that possibility.

"Harry, about Matthew..." Ruth begins but is cut off by the door opening. She turns expecting to see a doctor or a nurse, but it's neither. Stood in the doorway of Harry's room is a tall, blonde glamorous looking woman who Ruth has never seen before.

"Harry!"

Harry drops Ruth's hand guiltily. "Anna?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Anna rushes over to Harry's side and begins fussing around him. "Oh my God, look at you!" she exclaims. "What on earth happened to you?" When she starts stroking his hair, Ruth realises that whoever this woman is, she and Harry share an intimate relationship.

Harry is quick to brush away her hand. "I'll be fine. How did you know I was here?" He hasn't filled out an S24 form so no one from the Grid would have known to contact her.

"The hospital called Catherine," Anna explains, "and being stuck in France, she called me."

"But she doesn't have your number," Harry says, ever conscious of Ruth and his son at his side.

"She remembered that I worked at Price, James and Peterson, and called the main office. She's worried about you." At this point, she notices Ruth. "Oh, hello."

Ruth smiles but it's a false smile. Harry can tell. "Hello."

"Well, aren't you going to introduce us Harry?" Anna hints at Harry before rolling her eyes, in an 'aren't men useless' type of gesture.

"Of course yes, sorry. Anna this is Ruth, an old friend of mine. Ruth; this is Anna." It is not lost on either of the women that he doesn't give a description of his relationship with Anna.

Not wanting to be left out, Matthew begins to babble and bounce on Ruth's knee.

"And who's this little one?" Anna asks.

Harry falters; wondering how to break this news to Anna, but Ruth saves him. "This is my son, Matthew."

"He's adorable."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence descends and Harry can sense Anna is watching him and Ruth, trying to work out why she is here, in his room with a baby. He needs to separate the two women before the whole thing blows up in his face. He turns to Anna. "Did Catherine give you a contact number?"

"Yes, I've got it here."

"Can you go and ring her; let her know I'm okay." Anna looks between he and Ruth and seems reluctant to leave. "Please," Harry begs, "I don't want her to worry."

"Okay," she agrees, pecking him gently on the lips before she slips from the room.

Harry turn to the woman sat next to him. "Ruth…"

"She seems nice," Ruth says. It's not a lie, Anna has been civil and pleasant, but she doesn't particularly like her, for the sole reason that she's with Harry. But she's never been one to be catty; her father had always taught her to be polite; even to those she didn't like.

"I was going to tell you," Harry says, "But...

"...we've not really had a lot of time to talk," Ruth finishes for him.

"No. And we've a lot to talk about," Harry says, touching Matthew's hand. The little boy grabs his finger making Harry smile.

"I think that's probably the understatement of the year," agrees Ruth. She stands, having to prise Matthew's hand from Harry's finger. "I'd better go but I'll come back and see you tomorrow, perhaps we can talk then?"

Harry nods. Ruth begins to walk away but he grabs her hand. "Will you be going home?"

"I am home."

"I meant back to… God, I don't even know where you were living."

"I was in the south of France. A little village called Port-la-Nouvelle."

"Never heard of it."

"Well that was kind of the point; to try and be invisible. I don't know where I want to live; I suppose it all depends on how safe it is for me to be here."

"I'll speak to the Home Secretary. Try and sort something out for you, if you'd like?" He has a good relationship with Nicolas Blake so doesn't see sorting out Ruth's status will be a problem, but if it isn't Harry has a few tricks up his sleeve; he's got enough on this government to bring them down.

"Thanks," offers Ruth, before adding as if reading his mind, "but don't go threatening a coup or anything like that."

Out in the corridor she phones Malcolm. "I'm ready to leave now Malcolm. Can you send that car?"

"It'll be there in twenty minutes. Wait in the hospital cafeteria. Jo will come in and get you."

* * *

Anna returns a few minutes after Ruth has left. "Catherine is booking herself on the Eurostar; she'll be here tomorrow."

"She doesn't need to; I'm fine."

"You don't look fine from where I'm standing. You've been in the wars Harry and your daughter wants to come home to check on you. It's just a shame that the same can't be said about your son." Anna doesn't know his history with Graham, so he lets that one slide. "Where's your friend?" Anna asks. "I hope I didn't frighten her away?"

"No, she had to go. Listen Anna, there's something I need to tell you. About Ruth."

"You were lovers," Anna surmises.

"How did you…?"

"It was obvious there was something more than friendship between you and when I mentioned her to Catherine, her reaction confirmed it."

"What did she say?"

"She was surprised to hear the name, but it was more what she didn't say that gave it away."

"She's been gone a long time," Harry explains.

"When we met… you excused your behaviour by saying you were grieving. It was her wasn't it? She was the one you'd lost." Harry nods. "When you said grieving I assumed you meant dead."

Harry sighs. "It's hard to explain; it's to do with my job."

Anna is confused. "You push papers in the civil service, how does that…" she trails off noting his expression. "You don't work for the civil service, do you?"

He shakes his head. "I can't tell you what I do, but because of it Ruth had to leave the country."

"Are you some kind of gangster?"

"No. I'm not. I will tell you; just not here and not now. Anyway, I never thought I'd see her again, as far as I was concerned she _was_ dead."

"But now she's back."

"Yes."

"With a son."

"Yes," Harry answers.

Anna feels the tension build at the mention of the baby and she has a feeling she knows what that means. She needs to hear him confirm it though. "Say it Harry."

"The baby… Matthew… he's my son."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Sunday 7th October 2007, 9.30am; Charing Cross Hospital, London_

Harry is exhausted; he hasn't slept much – his conversation with Anna running around his head had made sleep very hard to come bay and now the nurses are making him get up and move around. He makes his way slowly from the bed to the door of the bathroom under strict observation from the nurses, before turning around to make the return journey. He is halfway back to his bed when the door to his room opens and Ruth walks in.

"Hi. I didn't expect to see you up and about so soon," she comments. "Surely you should be resting."

"Oh no, love," says the older of the two nurses. "We recommend gentle physical activity as soon as possible; much better for the patient."

Ruth glances a look at Harry and thinks it doesn't seem to be better for him, but she wisely keeps her mouth shut. By this point, Harry has reached the bed and is sat on the edge. "Could you give us a minute please?" he asks the nurses. The nurses depart, leaving Harry and Ruth alone. "Where's Matthew?"

"Jo is watching him for a few hours. I thought it might be easier for us to talk… alone." Harry nods. "I wanted to explain… about Matthew."

"Ruth, you don't need to," Harry insists.

"But you must have so many questions…"

"I do, but I don't see you answering them as an explanation. I understand there was no way you could have told me about him. I can't imagine what you must have gone through; pregnant and alone in a foreign country, not knowing anyone."

"Well, I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, because it wasn't. Some days it was hell. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, going through with the pregnancy, but I couldn't imagine not having him. I met some good friends who were supportive, so I had people to talk to… I had to tell them you were dead, but they let me talk about you as much as I wanted. I didn't tell them anything specific though. The worst part of it all was the labour. I was in agony for seventeen hours! And all I wanted was you there holding my hand. It was worth it though, to finally hold him in my arms. I looked at him and I saw you."

"Bald and screaming, you mean?"

"You forgot pouting," she teases.

"I don't pout," Harry argues and quickly changes the subject. "Looking after him on your own would have been exhausting," he comments.

"Well, he was a good baby so that helped I suppose; he slept through quite quickly so that was a bonus."

"Did you struggle… financially I mean?" He's embarrassed to ask, knowing it's a personal question, but he needs to know.

"At times," Ruth admits. "I had to go back to work pretty quickly."

"Work?"

"I worked in a little book shop in the village."

"You were made for more than that Ruth," Harry tells her.

She shrugs. "Maybe, but I loved it. It was like something out of a classic movie. The smell, the atmosphere… It was very elegant. And you know what, I did my job correctly and when I'd finished, Matthew and I went to the market, or the beach. My boss was flexible, so I had plenty of time to spend with him." Harry nods solemnly. "Harry, I don't want you to feel bad for not being there. You asked how I coped and I've been honest; nothing I've said to you today is meant to make you feel guilty. We've both had to make the best of an awful situation and Matthew is healthy and happy and that's all that matters.

Ruth can see tears in his eyes so she changes the subject. "Anyway, that's enough about me and Matthew for the moment. How are you feeling?" she asks.

"Sore, tired."

She shakes her head. "I knew you weren't ready to be racing around."

"I was hardly racing. Besides it's not their fault I didn't sleep well."

"Nightmares?" asks Ruth, remembering waking up in a cold sweat herself the previous evening after reliving recent events.

"No. After you left yesterday, I told Anna about Matthew."

"Oh. Right. She didn't take it well then?" Ruth surmises.

"It could have gone better."

"What did she say?" Ruth asks after Harry doesn't speak for a few moments.

"Shocked, I think is the word. She said some things and I got angry."

"What things Harry?" All she gets in reply is a stony silence. "Harry?" she presses. "Well, either you can tell me yourself or I can find her and ask her."

Harry sighs, remembering Anna's scathing words from the previous evening. "You won't like it."

"Just tell me."

"She suggested that you were lying; that Matthew probably wasn't my son. I don't believe that of course," he quickly adds, "but she was ranting about how she's seen men be trapped into providing financial support for children for 18 years only to discover they're not theirs. She said I should have a DNA test."

Ruth is shocked, but can understand to a certain extent Anna's request. She realises at that point she's just assumed Harry would believe her. The dignified thing to do is to at least give Harry the option, no matter how much it may hurt. "Do you want one? I'll understand if you do…"

Harry shakes his head firmly. "No. I don't need one. I trust you, and I told Anna that." He falls silent and Ruth can tell there is more he needs to say, he's just not sure how.

"What is it Harry?" She asks, trepidation filling her soul.

"Anna doesn't want me to see him."

"Oh."

"I don't intend to let that stop me Ruth." For a moment, Ruth is hopeful, that Harry has finished his relationship with Anna, but her hopes are quickly dashed by Harry's next words. "She doesn't have to know."

Ruth can't believe what she is hearing. "So you're going to lie to her? Tell her you're working? How long do you think you can keep that up?"

"You forget Ruth, I lie for a living."

His words, coupled with the fact that he's suggesting he only see his son in secret, makes Ruth angry. "I am perfectly aware of your profession Harry," she snaps. "You seem to be the one who's forgetting, I did the job for four years; I lied with you and then I've spent the past 18 months lying too. I don't want Matthew tainted by that!"

"Ruth, calm down."

"No I will not calm down! God Harry, will you listen to yourself. I will not let Matthew be hidden away like he's something to be ashamed of! If you want to see him, you need to be honest with your girlfriend. Until that happens; I don't want you to contact me."

* * *

**A/N:** I worry that you may all be sick of the angst/drama at the moment but when did Ruth and Harry ever do anything the easy way. All I can say is bear with me - you should know me and my love of happy endings by now.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Well, the last chapter certainly hit a nerve with some readers. I know Harry is being an idiot; and his actions will be explained. As I keep telling people, have faith.

When I first planned this story out, we were going to go straight from the end of the last chapter to Harry realising what an idiot he'd been, but then my muse decided to take the scenic route. So here you go…

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_Friday 19__th__ October 2007, 1,45pm; MI-5 safehouse, North London._

Ruth places Matthew in his cot, after almost half an hour of fighting to get him to sleep. It seems that he's decided he doesn't want an afternoon nap today. They're still in the MI-5 safehouse but no longer being babysat by Jo; she'd had to return to the Grid to deal with the ever present threat of terrorism. Harry, through Adam, had offered her some lower ranked officers but she had refused. They would be perfectly fine on their own and if they weren't well, she'd phone.

She hasn't seen or spoken to Harry directly in almost two weeks; not since she'd blown up at him in the hospital. He seems to have taken her at her word about not contacting them until he can be honest with Anna. He'd sent her reclaimed identity documents to her through Jo; she's is now legally Ruth Evershed again. She doesn't want to think of what Harry had to do to sort out her situation but she is grateful.

She also feels guilty for the way she spoke to him; he was recovering from major surgery and probably on all sorts of pain medications. This, coupled with the fact that he'd been held hostage and had just found out he had another child; meant Ruth couldn't really have expected him to act rationally? She accepts this but the drugs must be out of his system by now and she's still not heard from him.

Looking down at the adorable little boy, it hurts Ruth that Harry has chosen Anna over their son and can only hope that one day he'll come round, preferably before Matthew is old enough to realise what's happening. Even though they only knew each other for a few years before she was forced to leave, she can't imagine her life here without Harry. London has always meant Harry; the two are inextricably linked in her head. She supposes that through Matthew they'll always be connected to Harry, but it's not much of a connection if he chooses not to be involved. Perhaps, if Harry has made his choice, she should return to France. It would certainly be less painful, but having seen him again and the knowledge that he knows about Matthew, would she be able to do it? Something to ponder, she decides. There's no need to rush into a decision.

Satisfied that Matthew will stay asleep, Ruth places a gentle kiss on his head and creeps from the room. She shuts the door gently and as she does so there is a loud knock on the front door. She scowls and rolls her eyes; listening to see if the noise has woken Matthew. Thankfully it doesn't seem to have.

As she approaches the door, she wonders who it could be; there's only a few people who know she's here; Adam, Zaf, Jo, Malcolm and Harry. She doesn't think she wants to see anyone except Harry and even then she's not sure what she would say.

She opens the door.

It's Anna.

* * *

Ruth stares at the woman on the other side of her front door. She doesn't look as glamorous as she had the other night. Her clothes are clearly designer, but she's not wearing any make up, her hair is scrapped back into a loose almost scruffy pony and she has bags under her eyes.

"Can I come in?" asks Anna.

"Providing you're not here for a shouting match; I've just put Matthew down for his nap."

"I'm not here to fight."

"Okay then." Ruth steps back and allows Anna to enter. She shows her through to the living room and Anna sits down on the sofa.

"How did you find me?" Ruth asks.

"I overhead Harry on the phone to someone called Jo. He mentioned the road name."

Ruth nods. "I see. Can I get you a tea or a coffee?"

"No. No thank you." She looks down at her hands; her long elegant fingers clasped together.

Ruth sits in the opposite chair, waiting.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Anna eventually asks.

"I'm assuming it's to do with Harry, possibly Matthew but beyond that I've got no idea," Ruth answers honestly. Possible reasons for Anna's visit have been running through her head but she wouldn't like to speculate on the actual one.

"Harry's not himself and I… I don't know what to do."

Ruth isn't sure what Anna wants her to do either but, despite this, she asks, "How do you mean 'not himself'?" She misses Harry and wants to hear more about him, even if he's not 'himself'.

"He's distant and depressed. Barely says two words to anyone. Catherine gets marginally more out of him than I do but still… I'm worried about him."

"He's just had major surgery, perhaps he needs time."

"It's more than that and I think you know what it is." Ruth doesn't say anything. "Tell me," Anna implores. "If you two are back together I'd rather know now."

"We're not back together; I haven't seen him in nearly two weeks."

"He didn't say."

"We had a… disagreement." Ruth doesn't offer any further information but Anna raises her eyebrow expecting some. Ruth sighs. "He told me that you had said you didn't want him to see Matthew. Things were said… anyway, I left, telling him not to contact me until he was prepared to commit to his son." Ruth knows she is being sketchy, but doesn't see it as her place to tell Anna that Harry was prepared to lie to her. As much as she dislikes the woman, Ruth has never been a spiteful person.

"So you think all this is because of not being able to see Matthew?"

"What do you know about Harry's relationship with his other children, Catherine and Graham?"

"Not much; Harry doesn't really talk about them. I've spoken to Catherine a few times; she seems to have a good relationship with Harry. Why?"

"Harry hadn't seen either of them for nearly 10 years up until a few years ago. I don't know the details but after he divorced their mother things between him and his children deteriorated quickly. He'll tell you himself he was an awful father. After he began rebuilding his relationship with Catherine, he approached Graham but he didn't want to know him. That hurt Harry more than I can tell you but now he's got Matthew. I'm not saying he'll ever be a replacement for Graham but-"

"-he's a second chance." Anna understands.

"Something like that," Ruth agrees.

"Why didn't he tell me any of this?"

"I can't answer that," Ruth says. "It's been a long time since I've been able to tell what Harry is thinking." Again, Ruth could speculate but she won't; not aloud and not to Anna at any rate.

"Do you still...?"

"Love him?" Anna nods and Ruth, sensing that her answer could determine if Matthew gets to know his father, sacrifices her feelings for the sake of her son. "No. Harry and I will always be close, because of the experiences we've shared and of course, Matthew, but I've no intention of embarking on a relationship with him again." It kills Ruth to utter those words when the truth is exactly the opposite; her feelings for Harry haven't changed but he's moved on and she needs him in Matthew's life.

Anna is silent for a moment; looking at her hands and clearly considering Ruth's response and Ruth can only hope that her tradecraft is still in good order; that she's managed to fool the woman sat opposite her.

She raises her head and looks Ruth in the eye. Taking a deep breath she utters five words. "Okay, he can see him."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Apologies for the delay, I've been away and life has been busy. Oh and just so you're aware, Harry is still being a bit of an idiot, but hopefully by the end of this chapter you'll begin to see that it's not all his fault…

Thanks to _**HR always live on**_ for checking this over for me!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_Saturday 27__th__ October 2007, 11.45pm; MI-5 safehouse, North London._

Harry stands anxiously on the doorstep of the safehouse where Ruth and Matthew are staying, holding a carrier bag in his un-slinged hand. Today he's going to be able to spend some time with his son and he's nervous. He's walked into all sorts of dangerous situations in the past but nothing he has ever done before has made him feel like this. He puts it down to a mixture of worry that Matthew won't take to him and fear that he'll make a complete hash of things and Ruth will decide she doesn't want him anywhere near her son. He's already made a mistake and he only hopes Ruth has forgiven him. He'd been an idiot when he had suggested to Ruth that he see Matthew in secret; he realises that now.

He can't justify his actions, he knows that. He'd handled the situation terribly; something he'd realised as soon as Ruth had stormed out of his hospital room. It had taken him a few days, and a visit from Malcolm, to get his head around what had happened and to see the situation from Ruth's point of view, but when he had, he'd realised that he couldn't stay with Anna if she couldn't understand how important it was to him to have a relationship with Matthew.

It was just a matter of finding the right time; being confined to a hospital bed wasn't conducive to dealing with relationship problems, especially once he'd been moved onto a ward – he could hardly dump her in full view of the other patients. He may be a bastard at times, but even he couldn't do that to her.

Once he'd been discharged, he'd geared himself up to talk to her, but she had announced one evening that she'd realised how unfair she was being by demanding that he didn't see Matthew. She apologised and told him how she'd been worried when Ruth had reappeared, with his son, that she was going to steal him away. This, coming so soon after he had been injured so badly, had just shaken her.

So, he'd called Ruth, holding his breath as he waited for her to answer, and now, as he stands on her doorstep, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door, he thinks back to their telephone conversation

_***Flashback***_

"_Hello?" The knot in Harry's stomach tightened as he heard Ruth's voice on the other end. He hoped she'd hear him out._

"_Ruth, it's me… Harry."_

"_Oh, hi." _

_Well, she hadn't hung up, so he took that as a good sign. "How are you?" he asked. _

"_Oh y'know, surviving. You?"_

"_I'm fine. The hospital discharged me today."_

"_Good. I'm glad you're okay." Her tone of voice expressed the fact that she was genuinely pleased he was recovering._

"_How's Matthew?"_

"_He's doing really well. Changing by the day."_

_Her words stabbed at his heart; he had already missed so much of his son's life while Ruth was exiled and now, due to his own stupidity, he'd missed even more. "Listen Ruth, I wanted to apologise about what I said… suggesting that I see Matthew without telling Anna. I was stupidly trying to please everyone and I'm sorry."_

"_Harry-"_

_Harry continued talking, not wanting to lose the thrust of what he wanted to say. "Anna and I have talked, and she's realised that it was selfish of her to say she didn't want me to see him. So, if it's okay with you I'd like to spend some time with him; get to know him."_

"_Okay."_

"_Okay?"_

"_You sound surprised."_

"_I suppose I didn't expect you to agree so easily. You were rather angry last time we spoke."_

"_You're his father Harry; I don't want to keep you from him. I should apologise too; I shouldn't have blown up at you like I did." _

"_Ruth it's okay."_

"_I am sorry."_

"_I know."_

"…"

"_So when did you want to see Matthew?" Ruth asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them._

"_Well I'm on sick leave for the next five weeks at least so I'm as free as a bird."_

_Ruth was silent as she thought of a convenient time. "Shall we say Friday. Around twelve-ish at the safe house? If you think you'll be up to coming out? I can always come to you, I just thought it might be better for Matthew if he's somewhere a little familiar."_

"_Friday at the safehouse sounds great." Harry agreed, before adding, "Thank you Ruth. Thank you for giving me a second chance." _

_***End Flashback***_

They'd hung up then, neither saying goodbye; a custom they'd fallen into prior to Ruth's departure. It had felt good to regain that familiarity with Ruth and Harry could only hope that would continue; he didn't want a relationship with Ruth like the one he had with Jane, Matthew stuck in the middle. He knows that the first step to forming that relationship is to knock on the door so he raises his hand and does so. A few moments later he hears Ruth's footsteps on the laminate flooring and the door being unlocked.

Ruth opens the door, Matthew on her hip. "Hi," she greets.

"Hi," Harry replies, unable to take his eyes off Matthew; his blue eyes shining as he smiles and babbles away to himself. Ruth lets Harry look at his son for a few moments before the bitter chill from the open door gets too much. "Come in," she invites, stepping aside so he can enter.

Closing the door behind him, Harry puts down the bag and, with some difficulty due to his arm still being in its cast, removes his coat and hangs it by the door. He reaches into the plastic bag he brought and pulls out a soft purple elephant. "I bought this for him," he tells Ruth, unsure how to act around Matthew; he wants to touch him but he doesn't' want to frighten him, he is a stranger after all.

Matthew's eyes follow the elephant as Harry holds it out for Ruth and before she has chance to take it, he's grabbed it and begins chewing on its trunk. Ruth smiles at Harry. "I think he likes it," she says before leading the way into the living room.

There's a mat on the floor with a selection of toys on it, as well as a baby chair and a bouncer. Taking the elephant from Matthew, Ruth sits him on the mat and puts the elephant beside him. He reaches to take it back immediately.

"Would you like a drink?" Ruth asks Harry as she rises from the floor.

"A coffee would be great, thanks," Harry replies, his eyes not moving from Matthew.

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute." She makes her way to the kitchen, leaving the two of them to get acquainted.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Harry, Ruth's appearance has shaken Anna for a different reason. She knows Harry doesn't really care about her; she's known for a while. She doesn't care about him either. What she does care about however is his title. Being involved with a Knight of the Realm has its perks, especially for those, like her, hoping for a big promotion; a partnership in her firm.

She hadn't started out to use Harry, she'd genuinely liked him and he was good in bed, but it had soon become clear to her that he didn't care for her, not in the way she wanted from a man. She had planned to finish it, but then one of the senior partners in her firm had announced he would be retiring in early April; at the end of the financial year and she wanted that position. Anna knew that Harry's status would give her a head start on her main rivals. So she carried on the relationship.

But then a spanner had been thrown into the works, his old flame had returned, with his son no less. And she could feel her grip on him slipping away. So she'd paid her a little visit, and played the distraught girlfriend. Talking to Ruth had certainly been an eye opener, and learning of Harry's relationship with his son made her realise she'd made a mistake in her reaction to Ruth and Matthew; she hadn't realised the depth of feelings he had for them.

But, she hadn't got where she was today without honing her acting and manipulation skills. She'd managed to bring the situation back round to working for her rather than against her; her visit to Ruth being the first step along that journey.

Now she plans to turn her attention to Harry himself. She's already started dropping hints that Ruth isn't interested in him. Nothing so obvious to be noticed unless you were looking for it, just the odd comment here and there. Comments that Harry thinks she's making to reassure herself of her 'claim' on him, but that are also causing him to consider if perhaps she is right, perhaps Ruth has moved on and doesn't have any feelings for him anymore

As he recovers from his injury Anna also plans to remind him, often, of the perks of being with a sensual woman like herself and of how explosive and satisfying their physical relationship can be. If she's learnt anything about Harry in the time they've spent together it's that he likes sex… a lot. And luckily so does she, and she's very good at it.

She just has to keep hold of him until April; another four months, and then, well she'll have no need of him anymore.

* * *

**A/N:** So Anna isn't all she appears to be. It's okay, I didn't see this coming either - it certainly wasn't part of my original plan. But you've just got to go where the muse takes you.


End file.
